Fire Whiskey
by PinkSubmarine
Summary: In which the Marauders get a bit drunk and Remus does something he regrets. RLSB. Unhappy Ending.


I just decided to rate it T or some shit because of the whiskey consumption.

Dislcaimer: I OWN NOTHING.

A/N: I've never had whiskey, in here I describe the taste of vodka. This isn't a moring after story, as wonderful as those are. The idea for this story came from pure deppression and also my first time being drunk. I know it get's a bit fumblish and the tenses might be screwy. You'll have to forgive me and my crappy writing. Especially since I wrote this at 5am after no sleep. (And by the way, while drunk, my friends did actually have a conversation about what hand was right and what hand was left!) Anyway, enjoy!

(Review!)

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"You know what we need around here, Moony?"

I don't even look up from my homework, I don't even bother to fake interest.

"What do we need, Sirius?" I say, scribbling out a few words from my essay.

"Fire Whiskey."

"And how would we go about getting this Fire Whiskey?" I finally tear my eyes away from my work to look at him.

"I could probably get some from the kitchens...they have loads of it down there. I'd could be there and back in no time." He's acting as though he goes and steals whiskey from the kitchens all the time.

Actually, he probably does.

"Alright, you do that." I reply, rather bored, and return back to my essay.

Even if Sirius drinks a lot, I never do, so I hadn't actually expected him to get the whiskey, let alone drink it with him.

But, after six years of knowing him it should've be pretty obvious to me that you'd have to be foolish to ever underestimate Sirius Black.

He came back, seven bottles of fire whiskey stuffed into his school bag with James and Peter trailing behind him.

I gawked at him, ink dripping all over my paper.

"I'm not drinking any of that stuff." I say quickly, grimace on my face.

"Oh, yeah, sure."

His voice is sarcastic, and his smile is evident.

"Loosen up, mate." James says, clapping me on the back and taking a seat next to mine.

Peter nods in agreement and he takes a seat on the sofa.

"We're only splitting these seven between the four of us, and in case you didn't know Moony, that's basically nothing, so stop being such a bloody prefect."

I stare at the bottles for a few moments and then to Sirius. I know he's lying. That's so much alcohol.

I agree anyway, because Sirius just has this power over me. Give or take some whining, I do just about everything he tells me to do.

"Fine."

Reluctantly, I take a sip of the liquid when it's passed to me.

Nothing's happening.

Next time the bottle comes to me, I tilt back my head and let the clear liquid slide down my throat. I take the bottle from my lips, coughing and sputtering a bit. It tastes terrible, like bleach or disinfectant.

I sit there and wait a bit impatiently; still nothing.

All thats there is a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach.

"I don't feel anything." Which was true, I really didn't. I just felt like I was going to vomit.

The bottle get's passed quickly from one to the other and around and around in a circle. I can't help but notice that Sirius takes noticeably bigger sips on his turn than the rest of us.

Sirius cocks up his right eyebrow at my comment, smile spreading across his face as he takes another swig.

"Oh, so now you want to get drunk?" He says, handing the bottle over to James.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just…what's going to happen?"

"Give it a moment, love."

And I do, indeed, give it a moment.

That, and more alcohol.

But I can't honestly tell you when I lost my ability to think rationally.

It must've been somewhere in between the second or fifth bottle.

My clear, precise thought process didn't just leave me in an instant, it drained away gradually.

A feeling of dizziness swept over me, and I couldn't help but giggle a bit as I tried to stand up, only to drop to my knees soon after.

James gave me a sloppy smile, eyes obviously unfocussed.

"Y-you look really, REALLY du-dumb, Moony."

He was fumbling over some words and slurring others.

"Mooooony? T-that is just…just a fucking stupid nickname. W-which one of us came up w-with it again? " Sirius said, laughing afterwards and beaming around at us all with eyes to match James'.

"You." Peter said, lying on the couch, looking at the ceiling lazily.

I watch as Peter and James slip into a bit of a useless conversation. Something about which hand is left and which one is right.

I stumble a little as I make my way across the room to Sirius.

"Hey…" I say.

Everything is moving.

"'Sup?" He looks out of it for sure.

How did he make me do this again?

I really feel like his plaything sometimes. I am to Sirius as Peter is to James, in a way.

I want him to notice me more than everyone else, just like Peter wants James to notice him.

The reason I'm like this with Sirius is because of this stupid, insipid little crush I have on him.

But he's so beautiful, honestly. I wish so badly I could be his boyfriend.

And as I'm looking at him, I feel at least a few years of emotion bubble to surface.

I lean into him, hugging him. I trip a bit, though, and Sirius falls back and hits the wall with an 'Oomph!'.

He's looking at me blankly, still holding me. But I don't care about his reaction. I just care about touching him.

We're so close that our noses our touching. I can feel his hot breath against my face, thick with the stench of whiskey.

"Moon-?" He begins, but I cut him off.

His eyes widen a bit surprise as my lips meet his.

It's a very chaste and simple kiss, and it was basically over before it began.

Because he didn't kiss me back.

He had no reaction at all.

I wasn't being pushed away but I wasn't being welcomed either.

Stepping back and looking at him, I frown. Somewhere in my mind, through the intoxication, I know I'm going to regret this.

"I-I'm sorry." I mumble. I stare down at the floor, hands behind my back, shuffling my feet a bit.

It's so hard to ignore his gaze because I know it's there; he's staring at me.

"S'okay." He says quietly, brushing past me and taking a seat with Peter on the couch.

My head is pounding in tune with my heart. I feel feverish.

All I want to do now is sleep.

I go and lay down on the other unoccupied couch, breathing heavily.

And though I feel as if I've just closed my eyes, hours have passed at it's already morning.

Sunlight is streaming through the window, hitting my face.

I squint and raise my hand to cover my eyes.

I should really get up, but I just sit there for a while, thinking.

I know I didn't actually do that much with Sirius. Hell, I barley did anything. But I suppose it was a lot for someone as shy as me. I'm not a very aggressive person.

I try to reassure myself that he won't mind.

'Maybe it'll be okay…maybe he'll like me back?'

As I'm clinging to that thought with too much hope, it's interupted by the sound of James and Sirius waking up.

I hear them begin to chat about last night, laughing madly.

It's obvious I should get up now, too. I can't just stay here like a lump, pretending to be asleep.

So I sit up on the couch slowly, stretch a bit, and then stand up.

James and Sirius look at me for a moment.

"Hey, mate, you got a bit sexual last night." Sirius said with a genuine grin.

"Yeah, yeah, I noticed that you guys were in that corner. I almost hurled when you started to snog him, Moony. I can honestly say I will never see anything more disgusting!"

Sirius nodded furiously while tearing up from laughter at the thought of me and him kissing each other.

I just stare at them. I don't think I've never seen them laugh this hard.

They both just think I did it because I was drunk.

There was sinking feeling my stomach as waves of despair washed over me.

What could I do?

A bit lost, I did the only thing I could do: I forced myself to laugh along too.

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Review. Really, do. Insult me. Yell. Tell me it sucked. Give me contructive critisim. Whatever. But if you read this, review. It'll make me happy and I'll spend the rest of the summer telling you how much I love you. :)


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